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A Liberal Mom's Harrowing Account of a Man in the Women's Restroom at Disneyland"...There have to be guidelines. It can't just be a feeling. I'm sorry. I wish it could, but it can't. I'm fine going by 'if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck ... it's a duck' ... But this notion that we're shamed into silence b/c we might offend someone, has gone too far..." -Kristen Quintrall
Please read this short blog post from liberal California mom Kristen Quintrall whose eyes were (partially) opened by an experience in the women's restroom at Disneyland: I didn't know if I was going to write this blog or not. A part of me was scared it'd be shared as some transgender hot piece about yet another homophobic mom lashing out at Disney and then I'd have to deal with the wrath of the internet telling me to kill myself. So let me be clear. This isn't that story. This is a story about a biological man in the women's restroom. I've lived in Los Angeles for over a decade and have seen my fair share of transgender/gender fluid people. They in no way offend me. I'd consider myself pretty progressive and tolerant of most things ... But how transgender people feel, how they choose to dress or any surgeries they get, don't infringe on any parts of my life, so I support their decision to live as they see fit. I've also seen my fair share of transgender women in the women's restroom before. Not ALL the time. But over the past few years, I'd say 4-5 that I noticed. Men ... who were in some stage of transition and making every attempt to be a woman from mascara to heels. Transgenders who certainly felt comfortable in the women's room and probably frightened to go into the men's. At these times, I smiled ... I peed ... and life went on. But 2 weeks ago something very different happened. I was at Disneyland with my son, my friend and her son. We were over in California Adventure in the food court area. We'd just finished eating and decided to pee before we headed out to The Little Mermaid. I went to the bathroom while she watched our boys in their strollers, and then I did the same... I was off to the side waiting with the two boys, when I noticed a man walk into the restroom. My first thought was "Oh sh*t, he's walked in the wrong restroom by mistake. lol" He took a few more steps, at which point he would've definitely noticed all the women lined up and still kept walking. My next thought was, "Maybe he's looking for his wife ... or child and they've been in here a while." But he didn't call out any names or look around. He just stood off to the side and leaned up against the wall. At this point I'm like, "[ ] Ok there is definitely a very manly hispanic man in a Lakers jersey who just walked in here. Am I the only one seeing this?" I surveyed the room and saw roughly 12 women, children in tow...staring at him with the exact same look on their faces. Everyone was visibly uncomfortable. We were all trading looks and motioning our eyes over to him ...like "what is he doing in here?" Yet every single one of us was silent. And this is the reason I wrote this blog.
So there lingered this unspoken doubt everyone had ... that .00001% chance this wasn't a man. Let me be clear. This was totally a man. If this wasn't a man, this was a woman who had fully transitioned via surgery and hormones into a man and had also gotten an adam's apple implant, chest hair and size 9-10 shoes ... and at that point, what are you doing in the women's restroom? And let me be clear, my problem wasn't JUST that there was a man in the restroom. It's that he wasn't even peeing, washing his hands or doing anything else that you'd do in a restroom. He was just standing off to the side looking smug ... untouchable ... doing absolutely nothing. He had to of noticed that every woman in the long line was staring at him. He didn't care. He then did a lap around the restroom walking by all the stalls. You know, the stalls that have 1 inch gaps by all the doors hinges so you can most definitely see everyone with their pants around their ankles... So here I am ... writing this blog, because honestly I need answers. We can't leave this situation ambiguous any more. The gender debate needs to be addressed ... and quickly. There have to be guidelines. It can't just be a feeling. I'm sorry. I wish it could, but it can't. I'm fine going by "if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck ... it's a duck."...But this notion that we're shamed into silence b/c we might offend someone, has gone too far... Continue reading here.
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