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Dad of Entrepreneur With Down Syndrome: Parents Need Positivity at Diagnosis, Not Pity"We do not know the paths our children's lives will take. We need to hear how wonderful and rich the journey will be. We should not hear the route is limited before our child takes a first step. Their experience may be different, but not less. Here is the greatest truth about all three of our boys, but especially John: He has made me a better person. He made my wife and his brothers better people. That is what parents should hear: 'You are fortunate because your new child will lift you and make your life better.' You should hear about the joy your child will bring to the world." -Mark Cronin
In an op-ed for the Huffington Post, Mark Cronin explained what it was like learning his son had Down syndrome. He and his wife received the diagnosis at birth, and the doctor was extremely cold when delivering the news. "Our youngest son, John, was born in the middle of the night in a community hospital. Moments after his birth, I held our newborn in my arms as I had his two older brothers, bent over him and wept with tears of joy. He was so tiny, yet immense, as if he contained the whole universe. Forget exhaustion; my wife and I floated on the joy our son's birth gifted us," Cronin recalled. "A short while later, the covering OB-GYN came to speak with us. 'I am so sorry. I have bad news. It appears that your son may have a slight case of Down syndrome,' she told us, and then left the room without saying anything else." Mark and his wife, Carol, were both understandably scared and devastated. But things only got worse as their family and friends began to hear the news. "Many grew quiet and somber when they learned that John had Down syndrome. Then we started to hear a line that many parents of a child with a disability hear: 'God only gives a burden to those He knows who can handle it,'" he said. "Though this sentiment was probably meant to be encouraging, it was not. I wanted to scream. Our son was not a burden. This was not bad news. ... The nurses and staff also grew quiet when they entered the room and spoke in voices loaded with pity." Another family friend visited and told Mark that John could maybe get a job one day at Burger King sweeping the floors. "I left the room so no one would see me cry," he admitted. "No one said anything like that about his brothers. When I held his brothers in my arms, I believed anything was possible for them: They could grow up to play center field for the New York Yankees; they could go to the moon; everything was laid before them. Now, I was being told that John's life would be different, would be worse―that his life would be small." It is true that John struggled to find meaningful employment after graduating from school. But instead of sweeping the floors for a fast-food restaurant, he founded his own business, specifically so there would be more opportunities for people with disabilities to have jobs. Today, five percent of their earnings are donated to the Special Olympics and other disability organizations, and over half of their employees are people with disabilities. "Every day, we want to show the world what is possible when you give someone a chance," John said when he won the Entrepreneur of the Year award. "I have Down syndrome, but Down syndrome never holds me back. Look at what people can do, not what they cannot do." It's a message Mark said they should have heard from the very beginning. "That first night in the hospital, we needed to hear it straight―'John appears to have Down syndrome, which we will confirm with genetic testing'―but more importantly, we needed to hear 'Congratulations!' We needed to hear 'What a joy!' We needed that doctor to say that you have just begun down a path that will bring you so much happiness," he said, adding, "We do not know the paths our children's lives will take. We need to hear how wonderful and rich the journey will be. We should not hear the route is limited before our child takes a first step. Their experience may be different, but not less." "Here is the greatest truth about all three of our boys, but especially John: He has made me a better person. He made my wife and his brothers better people. That is what parents should hear: 'You are fortunate because your new child will lift you and make your life better.' You should hear about the joy your child will bring to the world." Subscribe for free to Breaking Christian News here
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