Jazz has since suffered from mental illness, rapid weight gain, pain, constant reflux, a lack of sex drive, an inability to orgasm, and anxiety. And not unlike the Truman Show, it all happened in front of the cameras for a global audience. Were Jazz to want to escape from this reality, there is nowhere he could go where he could begin again in private, away from prying eyes.

Jazz has now broken down (on camera, of course) and spilled his heart to his mother that, despite it all, he doesn't feel like himself. It is a moment many of us saw coming but hoped for the sake of this severely traumatized and abused child wouldn't. God help everyone involved in this unspeakable crime that was done to this innocent person who is suffering in front of us all.

"I really want to understand myself and be able to read my own soul... I just want to feel like myself. All I want is to be happy and feel like me and I don't feel like me ever!" Jazz cried.

Related: Sharing Stories of Trauma on 'Detransition Awareness Day'

During the show, there are moments where Jazz seems to disassociate from his body and needs help staying in the moment. And often, when Jazz struggles, his mother Jeanette is there to criticize how he is feeling, trying to sweep it under the rug. Telling Jazz "I know how you feel" is so disingenuous. Did Jeanette get her genitals inverted and botched? Is she flooded with the wrong hormones all the time? Did she have to try and navigate dating by telling all perspective mates she was born a different sex than she appears? If not, then she DOES NOT know how Jazz feels in any way.

Jazz didn't make any of these decisions. Nothing that was done to him—from living his entire life on a reality show for the entertainment of the mob to being rushed into irreversible surgery—was done in private. Every fight with siblings, every argument with parents, and every embarrassing moment have been broadcast for the world to gape at. He can't even go out with friends at age 21 without his mother tracking him down to check on him. Jazz missed his first semester at college because he was so mentally unwell. (Screengrab image: Jazz and his mother)

If I could talk to Jazz, I would first hug him and tell him how sorry I am that the adults in his family, his medical team, and this country didn't stand up for the child we all watched go through this heinous reality. What kind of monsters are we? Were the executives at TLC so blinded by money that none of them asked themselves, "what happens if this backfires and we destroy this kid?"

Jazz has been used in an unforgivable way as the face of a movement that he didn't even understand and still might not fully grasp. He's a show pony, a cause, a public experiment done for the entertainment of some and the political goals of others. His children's book has been used as a seductive tool to suck other five-year-olds into the same nightmare. It isn't Jazz's fault. And if I could talk to him, that's the first thing I'd tell him.

None of this is your fault. It's okay to feel bereft and sad and angry. You don't feel like yourself because the adults around you convinced you to try to be someone you were never made to be. It was all a lie... Subscribe for free to Breaking Christian News here

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