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Verified: When You Forgive Someone, You Make it Easier to Forget The OffenseFindings suggest that forgiveness may facilitate intentional forgetting by helping individuals to suppress details about the transgressions perpetrated against them. "Who is a God like You, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance?… [You will] hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea." -Micah 7:18-19 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." -Psalm 103:12
The findings are published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association of Psychological Science. "It is well established that learning to forgive others can have positive benefits for an individual's physical and mental health," says Saima Noreen, lead author of the study. "The ability to forget upsetting memories may provide an effective coping strategy that enables people to move on with their lives." From the perspective of cognitive science, overcoming strong negative emotions toward the person who did us wrong and quashing impulses for retribution or vengeance—processes that are critical to forgiveness—may be seen as a function of executive control. And research suggests that this executive control is also involved in our ability to forget something when we're motivated to forget it. The study, conducted with colleagues Malcolm MacLeod and Raynette Bierman, involved participants reading 40 scenarios that contained hypothetical wrongdoings, including infidelity, slander, and theft. They were asked to evaluate the transgression and say whether, as the victim, they would forgive the misdeed. About 1 to 2 weeks later, they read a subset of the scenarios again, but this time each scenario was paired with a neutral cue word. After learning the scenario-cue pairings, the participants were presented with some of the cue words, written in either red or green, and were instructed to recall the related scenario when the cue word was green, and to avoid thinking about the scenario when the cue word was red.
For transgressions they had forgiven in the first session, participants showed more forgetting when they had been instructed to forget the scenario in the second session, compared to when they had been given no specific instructions. In contrast, participants showed no forgetting for scenarios they had not forgiven, even when they had been told to forget them. Together, these findings suggest that forgiveness may facilitate intentional forgetting by helping individuals to suppress details about the transgressions perpetrated against them. So, while true forgiveness may be difficult to accomplish, the findings suggest that once the transgression has been forgiven, forgetting may become easier as a result. "This research is only coming into fruition, and it's likely that the relationship between forgiveness and forgetting is bi-directional and far more complex over longer periods of time," Noreen says.
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