Joni Eareckson Tada Shares Marital Struggles, Victories, in Marriage

Dan Wooding : Apr 3, 2013
ASSIST News Service

They battled "emotional distance," saying their commitment to their marriage vows drove them to work harder to thrive as a couple.

(Agoura Hills, CA)—I [spoke with] Joni and Ken Tada most recently at NRB 2013 in Nashville, Tennessee, when they gave me a signed copy of their new book, "Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story," which [was released] April 2, 2013, from Zondervan.

And what a journey they have shared together, for when Ken married wheel chair bound Joni in 1982, he expected some "for worse" in their marriage, but knew that God had brought them together for a reason. After chronic pain came along, followed by severe depression, then breast cancer, they struggled a bit in their relationship, but soon learned the secret to the "for better." Now, for the first time, the Tadas share their inspiring love story in this about to be released book.

"Joni & Ken" shows the true story between a man and a woman who know the reality of "in sickness and in health." While Ken thought he knew what he was getting into, marrying a woman who had lived with quadriplegia since a diving accident at age 17, he soon became overwhelmed by the never-ending responsibility of caring for a disabled spouse.

Though committed to their relationship and his love for her, the emotional toll exacerbated by Joni's chronic pain drove Ken back into the severe depression he struggled with earlier in life, coincidentally having entertained thoughts of taking his own life the very summer Joni took her fateful dive. Soon, they found themselves living separate but parallel lives. When Joni found the lump in her breast, she wondered if this would be the final wedge that would drive them emotionally apart. But in another example of God's perfect timing, Ken had recently experienced a spiritual transformation of his own, embracing a part of his heritage he had long misunderstood.

The Tadas knew their experience with emotional distance was symptomatic of too many marriages today, especially among Christian couples who stay committed to their vows despite lack of a close relationship. So, once they figured out the secret to not just surviving, but thriving as a couple, they were compelled to share that with others. (Photo: CarrdlCoTimes)

"Although Ken and I probably don't meet all the family-counseling criteria for 'a happy marriage,' this I know for sure," Joni writes, "Home is wherever we are together.

"It's why this book was written. For many people… I think all of our lives are spent looking for and wanting to go home. But what if it were as close as the hand of your spouse? That would make for a contented and complete marriage."

Co-written with Larry Libby—Joni's writing partner on several previous works—"Joni & Ken" is written in the third-person perspective, capturing moments and insights they might have missed if writing it themselves. The Tadas feel Libby has crafted "an artful expose of life with Joni and Ken."

The Tadas' love story begins unconventionally, with Joni's mind wandering in church one Sunday, finally focusing on the back of the man's head sitting in front of her. Upon officially being introduced to Ken several weeks later, her first words to him were "turn around."

Their courtship had its own hazards with Ken having to learn how to take care of many of Joni's physical needs. As a football coach, his strength came in handy for carrying her up stairs and mountains for romantic views. Their marriage began strong, but like so many others when the first blush of romantic love fades, they struggled to go deeper and weren't really connecting spiritually as a couple. (Photo: Yelp.com)

Because of their honesty, many readers will identify with the couple's experience of being together yet operating on emotionally separate tracks. As each looked to God to find strength to carry on, they also found themselves drawing closer, in God's perfect love triangle. They transparently share how they got to this point, and how they had to become vulnerable with each other as well as God. Readers will be riveted, touched, inspired and transported with them as they encounter Jesus in a new and fresh way, in their marriage.

Following her paralysis in 1967 and her journey out of depression and learning to paint with her mouth, Joni shared her story with Barbara Walters, then in a book and movie whose response showed the need for a ministry of encouragement to those with disabilities around the world. She established Joni and Friends in 1979 with the mission to accelerate ministry to those with disabilities.

The son of Japanese immigrants, Ken was a high school teacher and coach for more than 30 years before retiring to serve full time with Joni and Friends. Co-author Larry Libby is a writer and editor who has penned a number of books, including "Someday Heaven" and "Who Made God?"