Dr. Corinne: Sex, Communication, Intimacy; Improve Your Relationship with Your Beloved

Dr. Corinne Weaver : Feb 7, 2019
DrCorinneWeaver.com

"My lover is mine, and I am his." -Song of Solomon 2:16 NLT

As Valentine's day (my birthday) approaches I will discuss some key factors of an intimate relationship which include knowledge, interdependence, care, trust, responsiveness, mutuality, and commitment. When forming deep, intimate relationships with a partner, it's important to feel safe sharing our deepest dreams, desires, fears, past histories, traumas, and goals for the future. (Photo: Dr. Corinne Weaver)

Interdependence requires some degree of being dependent upon one another whereby each partner influences the other meaningfully, frequently, and vastly. Genuine, selfless care is another hallmark of healthy intimate relationships, while trust is the confidence that we place in a partner to act in a way that will not cause us purposeful harm. Trust is a top characteristic when most people are asked to define what they want in a partner, and for good reason!

Strong intimate relationships require partners who are mutually responsive to each other's needs. Finally, relationships which exhibit a shared commitment to one another aid the above six components of intimacy to grow.

Intimacy can significantly deepen with good communication. When my husband and I were dating, we were already Christians. A godly relationship rooted in Jesus was very important to us. We were part of a prison ministry and leaders of a Christian club at school. Early in our relationship we read, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. Our dating involved many church events and we focused on getting to know each other. We will celebrate our 20thanniversary this year and I believe our marriage is strong because we had a godly foundation with Jesus in the center. God knew what love, real love, between a man and a woman can do; it's strong, fearless and one of the greatest gifts He gave us to take part in on Earth.

Drive-by chats vs. intentional conversations

It's easy to engage in what we call drive-by chats, conversations that are short and to the point. These are useful when asking your spouse to pick something up on the way home, but this form of communication is about convenience, not intimacy.

To achieve deeper intimacy, intentional conversations that reach the heart are needed. For an emotional connection, it's important to talk about things that matter. Giving each other a recap of your day is nice, but it's not very deep. To connect more deeply on a physical level, emotional closeness is key to intimacy on various levels.

Tips to improve communication

Here are some things you can try to improve communication with your partner that will extend beyond emotional intimacy:

-Set aside time to spend together without your phones. (this is huge and most important)

-Schedule an at-home date night where you focus on each other.

-Work on a project that requires you to work together to accomplish it.

-Look in your partner's eyes while you talk.

-Have uninterrupted conversations with your partner.

Before we get into the benefits of sex, I want to stress that sex is meant for a husband and wife only. My husband and I were blessed to have made that decision before we got married.

The brain's role in sex

The largest, most important, and most active sexual organ of the body is... the brain! (my favorite organ)

The brain is responsible for our emotions, our perceptions (including of pain and pleasure), our memories; for regulating and controlling our central nervous system, our cardiovascular system, our endocrine system, and our senses.

The hypothalamus of the brain is responsible for the secretion of hormones that influence sexual feelings and response, like oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin, and dopamine.

As the brain receives messages from your sensory organs, it signals the appropriate part of your body for hormone release or stimulation.

Blood pressure, heart rate, body temperature, and how we breathe are all influencers of sexual function, and the brain controls experience and response to all of these and more.

Sex is communication and more

Not only is sex about communication between people, but it's also about the systems of your brain and the rest of your body communicating, too.

Androgen, estrogen, and progestin are known as sex hormones. These hormones are released from the adrenal glands and play a part in sexual pleasure. Androgen affects the desire for sex and is one of its many drivers, though, within average hormonal ranges, the brain plays a more significant part in sex drive than those hormones. Androgen plays a role in erection and response of the penis, the clitoris, and the vagina.

Estrogen influences vaginal lubrication and elasticity of vulvovaginal tissues. Progestin attaches to receptors to produce actions in the body. For example, estrogen and progesterone are responsible for the release of an egg from the ovaries during ovulation.

The term ‘erogenous zones' popularized sexology in the '60s and ‘70s to describe areas of the body of high sensitivity. Some areas of the body have more sensory nerve receptors than others. These places can differ from person to person but are recognized as places on the body more sensitive to both pain and pleasure. (Photo: Pixabay)

Typical erogenous zones include the lips, tongue, palms and fingers, the soles of the feet, the inner thighs, nipples, neck, ears, armpits, and the genitals.

The potential benefits of sex are endless. Sex offers an abundance of both physical and psychological health benefits, from improved cognitive performance to disease prevention.

Let's take a look at some of the scientific findings

By measuring levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A (IgA) in saliva and mucosal linings, scientists can measure the strength of our immune systems. Research published in Psychological Reports found participating in sex one to two times per week leads to a boost in immune function. Findings concluded study participants who had sex once or twice per week had a 30 percent increase in IgA, which may protect against colds and flu.

It's no secret that physical activity is needed to exercise the heart. But did you know that includes sex? Being sexually aroused increases heart rate, with the number of beats per minute peaking during orgasm. A study published in the American Journal of Cardiology, involving men in their 50s, suggested that men who have sex at least twice per week have a 45 percent reduced risk of heart disease, compared with men who have sex less frequently.

Sorry ladies, more research is needed to draw connections between cardiovascular health and sex for women.

How's your blood pressure?

In men, high blood pressure can lead to erectile dysfunction and in women, high blood pressure can lower libido and reduce interest in sex. According to the American Heart Association, high blood pressure increases the risk of heart attack and stroke and can also affect your sex life.

Research published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior conducted by Michigan State University found that sex in later years might reduce the risk of high blood pressure—at least for women.

Women in the study aged between 57 and 85 years who found sex pleasurable or satisfying were less likely to have hypertension.

Score for us ladies!

Neurologists have found that sexual activity can relieve head pain associated with a migraine or cluster headaches in some people. A study conducted by the University of Munster in Germany found that among migraine sufferers, 60 percent of people reported an improvement in pain after sexual activity, while 37 percent of people with a cluster headache reported an improvement. The positive results are attributed to the release of endorphins during sex, which naturally relieve pain.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention around 50 to 70 million adults in the U.S. have a sleep disorder leading to a significant public health problem. Sex could be the solution! During sex and orgasm, a cocktail of chemicals is released in the brain, which includes oxytocin, dopamine, and a rush of endorphins. After orgasm, it is thought that the effect of oxytocin, combined with the release of the hormone prolactin makes you feel sleepy.

A study published in the Journal of Women's Health reports a rise in estrogen levels among women during sex has been shown to enhance their REM cycle. According to a study published in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews the release of oxytocin and serotonin impacts the area of the brain associated with alertness, consciousness, and mental activity is ‘switched off' in men leading to sleep-inducing effects.

Stress is associated with a wide range of health issues, from headaches, problems sleeping, muscle tension, and upset stomach, to more severe conditions, including a weakened immune system and chronic depression. Evidence published in Psychosomatic Medicine demonstrated that physical or emotional intimacy in couples is associated with reduced stress levels. The calming effect is thought to be caused by the release of the "pair-bonding" hormone, oxytocin.

There are a number of supplements and essential oils that can help boost sexual health. To understand which are right for you, it's important to identify the cause of your concern. Your age, health, and how you feel about your relationship can all have an impact. It's also important to keep in mind, what works for men doesn't necessarily work for women.

Let's start with the ladies

Low iron can impact desire, arousal, lubrication, and ability to have an orgasm. Women who are deficient can supplement with iron. Studies report women with low iron levels noticed improvements with supplementation.

One supplement I recommend is HerSynergy®. It is formulated to promote libido in women with a special, concentrated extract of fenugreek, which may support multiple key markers of sexual function and arousal. This novel formula also supplies targeted vitamins and minerals to help maintain estrogen metabolism and other factors related to libido, such as emotional health and relaxation. If you would like to try some you can here.

His and Hers Essential Oil Blend

I also created a Hers essential oil blend with Frankincense, Thyme, Lemon, Geranium, Marjoram, and Rose. When I created the Hers blend I thought about hormone balance, releasing tension, and improving mood.

When it comes to men, it's all about amino acids, which are the building blocks of protein. L-arginine turns into nitric oxide in the body which dilates blood vessels improving blood circulation.

Supplementing with HisSynergy™ provides premium Ayurvedic herbal extract support for healthy male sexual function, libido, and vitality. You can buy some here. 

I also created a His essential oil blend with Sandalwood, peppermint, and fennel. These three helps with stimulation to the adrenals.

If you would like a His/Hers essential oil bottles email me, and I will ship your way.

I know sex and intimacy can be uncomfortable to talk about for some, but they are complex aspects of life and health. Be open with your partner, and yourself. Make sure to discuss any issues, medication concerns or changes, and supplement use with your doctor too. I am deeply passionate about helping people become the very best versions of themselves. If you need any additional information, help, or questions answered, please email me at Dr@DrCorinneWeaver.com.

If you want more healthy tips you can subscribe to my YouTube channel here https://www.youtube.com/drcorinneweaver. Like and comment on my channel so I will know what tips and topics you want to know about. I am forming a community of people who want to take action in their own health with my social media channels and I want to know what health topics you want to hear. 

I hope my column speaks to you and you can wake up each morning with a purpose. What I do every day is a calling, and I give God the glory for allowing His gifts to work through me. I do believe in miracles, because I get to see them every day! For more information you can go to www.nomoremedsmovement.com and sign up for my closed Facebook group #NoMoreMeds-Community for more healthy tips. 

Keep Breathing,
Dr. Corinne Weaver 

Email: Dr@DrCorinneWeaver.com
Website: www.DrCorinneWeaver.com

Dr. Corinne Weaver is a compassionate upper cervical chiropractor, educator, motivational speaker, mother of three, and internationally bestselling author. In 2004, she founded the Upper Cervical Wellness Center in Indian Trail, North Carolina. Over the last 13 years, she has helped thousands of clients restore their brain to-body function. When she was 10 years old, she lost her own health as the result of a bike accident that led to having asthma and allergy issues that she thought she would always have to endure. Then, after her first upper cervical adjustment at age 21, her health began to improve thanks to upper cervical care and natural herbal remedies. This enabled her to create a drug-free wellness lifestyle for herself and her family, and she also enthusiastically discovered her calling to help children heal naturally.

Dr. Weaver was named one of Charlotte Magazine's "Top Doctors" in 2016 and is now a number-one internationally bestselling author to two books: Learning How to Breathe and No More Meds. 

Upper Cervical Wellness Center is known for finding the root cause of health concerns through lifestyle changes, diagnostic testing, nutraceutical supplementation, and correction of subluxation (as opposed to just medicating the symptoms). The practice offers cutting-edge technological care at its state-of-the-art facility, including laser-aligned upper cervical X-rays, bioimpedance analysis (measures body composition), digital thermography (locates thermal abnormalities characterized by skin inflammation), and complete nutritional blood analysis, which is focused on disease prevention. Subscribe for free to Breaking Christian News here