Evangelist Turned Atheist Finds God Again

Teresa Neumann : Sep 27, 2012
Staff – Inspire Magazine, U.K.

"At first [atheism] felt like freedom, but I didn't bargain on one vital thing. I realized I missed God. I missed Him so much it hurt." -Lynda Alsford

(United Kingdom)—Though not common, you sometimes hear about pastors and church leaders hanging it all up and turning their back on God. It's one of the most painful experiences for the Church to see someone walk away from God's love, and for those of us left behind, we can only wonder what our brother or sister in the Lord is doing, and where their path will take them. (Photo: Inspire Magazine)

Enter Lynda Alsford. She was a Christian evangelist for 27 years before a major crisis in her life made her doubt her faith and turn her back on God.

Said Alsford: "What happened to me?" she asks. "With the benefit of hindsight, I know that it was the unresolved, devastating pain of broken dreams that gradually ate away at my faith. The pain of unwanted long-term singleness and therefore, childlessness, drove me from the God who could have erased my sorrow.

"In the depths of my anguish I allowed doubts to creep up so imperceptibly that I didn't notice them until it was too late. When I left ministry, I was almost certain that there was no God. I just had to learn to live as an atheist."

"At first," she said, "it felt like freedom, but I didn't bargain on one vital thing. I realized I missed God. I missed Him so much it hurt."

Then, years later, Alsford was compelled by her homesickness for God to take a step of faith. One day, she simply told Him she believed He existed.

"All the peace and joy of believing came flooding back." she said. "I knew once more that there is a God. Within a few months I had a dream about Jesus. It led me to wake up knowing God' love in a far deeper way than I have ever known it. My faith is now stronger that it ever was before."